


Another Start, You Fade Away

by ToTheMax



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 19:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19046851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTheMax/pseuds/ToTheMax
Summary: Louis has to say goodbye to someone he really doesn't want to say goodbye to.





	Another Start, You Fade Away

**Author's Note:**

> This is legitimately the saddest thing I have ever written. I literally and genuinely almost cried while writing this. So uh. Heavy warning, dont read this if u cant handle a good ol trip on the pain train. Thanks love u guys.
> 
> P.S.: listen to Faded by Alan Walker (piano version) for Added Sadness, can confirm it makes it sadder, the only thing that would make this less sad is a typo I somehow didnt catch

Clementine's exhausted breathing was the only noise keeping Louis grounded as they walked through the dark forest. She was so limp in his arms, with the axe dragging by her side, but she still insisted on walking back to the school.

He didn't know how she was still conscious. She had lost enough blood to die at this point, not to mention the bite.

The bite. The stupid fucking bite. He tried to lunge forward, to get the walker to bite him instead, but it still bit Clementine's ankle. And now, she was withering away with every step forward. He couldn't bear to even look her in the eye anymore.

Clementine tried catching his eye, though, or any fragment of his attention. “Louis,” she whispered, barely audible. “Louis?” She repeated when he didn't answer. 

Staring ahead, Louis broke his silence. “Yeah, Clem?”

Clementine stopped dragging herself along the trail, prompting both of them to stop as she searched for the words to say. Finally, she blurted out, “I'm sorry.”

Louis clenched his jaw, silently demanding his tears to stop. He couldn't afford to break down, not right now. “Don't be sorry,” he said, trying to not let his voice crack, “be alive. That'll be good enough an apology.”

Clementine opened her mouth as they locked eyes, but held the sentence in her throat. She just started forward again, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Louis resisted the urge to stop and hug her as tight as he could, trying to match the slow pace with her and not move too fast. He spared a look behind him, and saw the early twinkling rays of light to announce the sun's arrival. “We might wanna pick up the pace,” he said, trying to put a light tone into his voice. “We keep this up, we'll be back at the school by the time Omar starts cooking.”

To his surprise, Clementine laughed, which plastered his own smile onto his face for a moment. “You're always good for a smile,” she said. Then, she asked, “Do you think Tenn and AJ made it back okay?”

Louis nodded. “They're capable kids, and Tenn knows his way back. I think the only problem is gonna be keeping AJ at the school. You know he's gonna wanna look for you.” 

Clementine nodded softly. “Yeah… we're making it back, though. He won't have to... wait for long.”

Louis heard the hesitation tinging her tone, but he didn't want to think about it. He couldn't bear the thought of any possibility other than both of them making it back to the school alive. Clementine meant too much to him to have her just die in the middle of the woods.

Maybe the bite wouldn't kill her. Maybe she could live through it. Sure, she'd be sick for a while, but she'd live at the end of the day. This is  _ Clementine  _ he's thinking of. The girl who survived the hell world out there for this long-- while raising a  _ kid _ ! This is Clementine, who inspired them to fight, who orchestrated and executed a fight against raiders and a rescue operation to get their captured friends back that succeeded with only one casualty out of ten. If she could survive all that she's pushed through so far, she could survive a stupid walker bite. 

Clementine groaned suddenly, dipping away from Louis's grip and falling to the floor. “Clem!” Louis immediately done to the ground to help her up, but her hands flew to her injured leg. “Clem, hey--”

“Fuck,” Clementine swore, peeling back her boot to look at her greying leg. “I-I think I can see the bone!”

“You're gonna be fine,” Louis rationalized, taking her by the shoulder. “We can get to the school, and wrap it up, and you're gonna be fine. C'mon, get up.”

Clementine tried, and almost succeeded, but improper weight in her injured leg sent her crying out and reeling back to the ground. With a sigh, she dragged her legs up to her chest and rested her head into her knees. 

Louis couldn't see her face, but he saw the broken sobs wrecking her body, her arms reaching up to grab at her hair and rip it out of its messy low bun. With a pang in his heart, he sat down beside her, tears starting to fall from his eyes again.

“Clem,” he said, gently resting his arm around her shoulders. “Hey. Let's go home. I can carry you.”

“This isn't fair,” Clementine snapped to no one, muffled by her position. “This isn't fucking fair!” She lifted her head, grit teeth and glaring eyes staring out into the woods that started to become illuminated by the sun. “Every single time… every single time I find a good place-- a home-- with good people, it all falls  _ a-fucking-part _ !” She bent her head down against and started grabbing at her hair again.

“Clem…” Louis bit back a sob as she leaned into his shoulder. “Hey, come on. It's not completely hopeless. Once we get you home--”

“Stop that.” Clementine lifted her head again with a sniffle. “Just stop, okay?”

“Stop what?” Louis's once-lax hold around her shoulder tensed.  _ Please don't say what I think you're gonna say. Please.  _

Clem cast her sad eyes to Louis, almost unable to get the words out. She didn't want to break his heart, but she knew… “Quit talking like I'm gonna survive this.” She looked down at her leg, at the festering bite. She could feel the infection climbing under her skin, digging into the deepest parts of her bones and muscles, slowly rotting it all away. “I'm… not gonna make it…We both know that.”

Louis fought back the tears in his eyes, and shifted to be kneeling in front of her, hands on her shoulders. “Clementine,  _ no _ ,” he said. “You can't give up. Not right now. Not when AJ needs you-- not when  _ I  _ need you.” He tried catching her eye, raising his hand to her cheek to smudge off a streak of tears. “Come on,  _ please _ . Here, lemme carry you.”

“Lou…” Clementine forced a sigh out, trying to breathe. She couldn't fight against Louis scooping her into his arms, but she felt his arms trembling as he stood. His entire body pounded and shook with waves of exhaustion; it had been a grueling night turned morning. He wouldn't be able to hold her for long. “Louis,” she tried again, “put me down.”

“No,” Louis refused, shifting his hold under her legs as he tried to push forward. “We're going home, Clem. We both are.”

Clementine couldn't hold back the sob that erupted out of her mouth. Her head rested against his chest, and she could feel his thudding heart. For a moment, she stopped to take in the smell of his coat; somewhat smokey and musky, but with a soft air of home.

And now she had to say goodbye. To him, to her home.

“I'm not giving up on you,” Louis continued in a thick voice. “Even though you have, I'm not about to just let you die. Okay? We're going home, and you're gonna be fine. You'll be sick, but-- uh, we have medicine. We can fix you, alright. So just hang tight--”

“I didn't know you had the cure for walker bites,” Clementine said airily, somehow cracking a smile. “Why haven't you… traded it with the world? Put an end to all this shit?” she was losing breath by the second, the edges of her vision were starting to darken.

Louis sighed heavily, finally stumbling to a stop against a thick tree. “Now's not the time, Clem,” he whined, catching the joking tone in her voice.

Clementine shook her head with a half attempt at a shrug as Louis knelt down, wanting to rest but not wanting to let go of her. “I just… wanted to see you smile, is all,” she whispered, her smile gone. “I'm sorry, Louis. I-I fucked up.”

Louis shook his head, and could only watch as she fell out of his arms and onto the floor, dragging herself to prop against the nearby tree. “There's… nothing you could have done. The walker, it… came out of nowhere.”

Clementine reached up and pressed her hands to her face for a moment before lifting her head to look up at the rising sun.

Louis looked up, too, and noticed the sun. How can the sun rise on something like this? Sunrises are meant for new starts, brand new beginnings. And now, it was the end. The sun shouldn’t be rising. There should still be a dark new moon, hidden by large gray clouds, blotting out every last bit of starlight. That's what it should be. Instead, there was a warm glow to the tops of the trees, a soft breeze blowing through the forest that awakened birds from their nests, causing a flurry of singing and wing-flapping.

Everything else was alive. 

_ Why couldn't she be? _

Louis snapped out of his daze when he felt Clementine grasp his hand. He looked down at her, the dull gold eyes he came to lose himself in now teary and dead. “Louis, I…” she swallowed hard. “I want you to take care of AJ for me, okay? Keep him safe, don't let him do anything stupid…”

Louis's jaw trembled as he took in a not-so-steady breath, and he nodded and squeezed her hand with both of his own. “Yeah. Yeah, I got him. He's gonna be fine, I promise.”

Clementine smiled. “Good… I'm holding you to that promise.” She sighed in an attempt at a laugh, and managed, “If he ends up dead, I'm making sure Walker Clem eats you first.”

Louis choked out a sob that was supposed to be a laugh. He scrubbed at his eyes to quickly hide the tears. “C'mon, Clem,” he said, doing his best to smile. “That was my joke.”

“Well… now it applies to me, so…” Clementine sighed, her smile cut away by a sudden scream of pain erupting from her wound. “Ow, shit…!”

Louis's smile was gone too, remembering the gravity of the situation, and what he'd have to do. “I… Clem, I don't wanna leave you here “

Clementine swallowed hard. “I… this sounds bad, but I was always hoping AJ would be around… when I got bit. I always felt that it would happen-- we've had so many talks about it… and now…”

Louis coughed, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. He couldn't find anything to say, and Clementine continued in his silence.

“...I always wanted him to kill me when it happened. He had to just… think of me as another walker. I… didn't wanna become one of those things. But now… I couldn't make hin do that.” She met Louis's eyes, and she sighed. “can't make you do that.”

“I can't leave you,” Louis whimpered, squeezing her hand. “And I--” he shakily breathed in and out. “I dunno what I'd do if… you showed back up. At the school. Maybe I should…”

Clementine shook her head. She unraveled her hand from his and reached out to stroke his cheek. “You wouldn't be able to. I know you, Louis. You couldn't hurt a fly on purpose if you tried.” She gently dragged her thumb across a tear track streaking to his jawline. “You can leave me, it's okay.”

Louis's shoulders shook, his chest about to burst in anguish. “I… I can wait… until you go. Then I can… we can bury you. Back at the school. I'll make sure you don't turn, Clem. I promise.”

Clementine felt that she wasn't going to sway him, and nodded. “Alright… if I can't change your mind…” Her hand fell away from his face, and rested on the ground beside her.

“I'm sorry,” Louis blurted out. “I-I wish I could have… done something. I wish we met before everything went to shit, and I-I wish we could have… had more time together.”

Clementine nodded in agreement, not having the energy to speak.

“I could have taken you on more dates,” Louis went on. “Dates that were… a lot better than eating some stale pretzels over a candle in your room. I could have… fuck, I dunno! I could have done a lot more. You  _ deserved  _ so much more than I can give you.”

Clementine shook her head with a cough. “Stop it,” she breathed, her jaw trembling as she spoke. “Louis, those… those few nights ago…” Her eyes closed, as if remembering those brief few moments of pure joy before all hell broke loose. Then, her full eyes opened to stare into his once more. “I kissed you for a reason. I chose you for a reason.” She tried, but couldn't hold his hand. Her energy was all but gone now; she had to choose her last words carefully. 

“This is it,” she said, breathing in heavily yet slowly. “I'm sorry I couldn't pull through sooner... I really am. I…” She watched with dark vision as Louis took her hand again, pressing her knuckles to his lips. “I love you, Louis. Don't forget that.”

“I love you too,” Louis said, his voice broken, eyes squeezed shut as he held Clementine's hand. “I wish I could have… told you more. I love you so much, Clementine.”

Clementine squeezed his hand. Ot was barely felt due to her lack of strength, but it was enough to get Louis to look at her. “Hey… how ‘bout a kiss for the road?”

Louis didn't hold his sob back, but nodded and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Clementine's, reaching his hand into her hair. When he pulled away, she was smiling.

Her smile stayed when she cast her gaze to the leafy ground. “Seriously… take care of AJ. He can be… reckless…” she mumbled. “I don't want him doing anything stupid because I'm not there…”

Louis watched her. Slumped over, gray skin and dark blood. She was already pretty much a walker, all she was missing was the flesh-hungry snarls and milky, blank eyes. He had to nod. “I'll k-keep him in check,” he promised  “He's gonna be fine. He's gonna grow up with us, an-and… and be a kid. We're gonna give him that.”

“I know…” Her breaths started to come in more shallow, and Louis shifted his aching position to be closer to her. “I'm... getting tired…”

“It's okay,” Louis forced out. “You can rest now, Clementine. You've earned it. After all this  _ shit _ you've been through…” he finally let a sob wreck his body as he pressed his thumb to her wrist, feeling her barely-there pulse. “Get some sleep, okay?”

Clementine cast her eyes up at him, tears and death blurring her vision so she could barely see, but she knew he was there. She knew he'd do everything he promised; he was a boy of his word. 

As her final sigh escaped past her lips and her eyes slid shut, she knew there were things left unsaid. There were so many things they could have done together that never got to happen. He could have taught her to play piano, they could have had more dates-- even if they were over a half-melted candle and a bag of stale, decade-old pretzels. No matter what it would be, she would have enjoyed it. Because it was with  _ him. _

Louis knew the same. As he clutched her hand as tight as he could, head bent low, he let out the agonized scream he'd been holding in all night. The scream broke into a mess of sobbing and tears the he didn't let up from. 

The girl he loved, the only Clementine in the world, was now gone. How could he move on from that? How could he go back to the school, carrying Clementine in his arms, and tell AJ he wasn't able to save her? How could he…?

_ How could you just let her die!?  _ He screamed at himself.  _ You could have done something. You could have taken the bullet! First Marlon, and now Clem! How many more have to die before you take a fucking stand!?  _

_ Is it going to be Violet next? What about AJ? Or Tenn? Who's going to die next because you weren't fast enough!?  _

He can't think about the possibility of any of those now. Losing Clementine was enough.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I would have had a thing of Louis singing "oh my darling Clementine" but I dont think I would have been able to finish lmao


End file.
